


small matters

by ValkyrieGail



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship/Love, Getting Together, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, SEP, Shame, Size Kink, Small Dick Morrison, Small Penis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 12:32:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14213232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieGail/pseuds/ValkyrieGail
Summary: Jack knew that his ‘equipment’ was smaller than average. It’s been a fact that he’s struggled with ever since he realized he didn’t look quite the same as the diagrams in health class.He hopes that the new experimental program he signed up for in SEP will also ‘fix’ his current predicament. He hopes he can feel 'man' enough for the person who has caught his attention: a one Gabriel Reyes.Following Jack Morrison in three parts: Before SEP- During SEP- And through Overwatch's formation





	small matters

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for discussions on small dicks, insecurity, derogatory language pertaining to genitalia, and humiliation. Jack is also 18 in this when he has consensual sex with another person his age. Mind the tags. This first chapter covers Jack before military and SEP.

 

Part 1

The talk of ‘size’ first came up in the high school gym locker room.

Jack’s ears naturally honed in on the conversation and quickly picked up that the discussion was specifically about dicks.

(Not a completely uncommon topic, considering the amount of dick doodles people drew around the high school.)

Before Jack could remember, he had always appreciated the human body and found himself attracted to different people. Bloomington, Indiana wasn’t a _huge_ metropolitan city, but it was big enough for Jack to feel openly comfortable about his sexuality as he grew up. His parents didn’t make much of a fuss over his dating life as long as he was home by curfew and treated his dates respectfully. He had dated here and there in high school; mostly things like holding hands and a few make-out sessions for the most part.

Last year, he had lost his virginity to a good friend, but that was about as far as it went. Between school, working on his family’s farm, and his extracurricular sports, he didn’t have much time to date outside of his social life.

The idea of sex was regularly on Jack’s mind. He was a typical hormonal teenager and had hid his fair share of boners in Geometry class when Ms. Wheeler wore tighter skirts or in History when Mr. Smith rolled up his sleeves and his shirt had to work overtime to keep the muscles contained.

The youngest Morrison son was used to hiding his arousal with a book in his lap.

Not that there was much to hide.

The talk of dick size was another thing, and Jack was unfortunately too close to the conversation to edge away gracefully.

“Dude had a schlong to his knees, I swear to god.”

“He was probably just a show-er, then. How much blood would it even take to _support_ a cock like that to get hard?”

“Might as well have a garden hose.”

Jack snorted, grinning along with the other guys while they made conversation and washed the suds from their bodies. It was after track practice and most of them were muddy as hell. The first autumn rains were starting and the practice field was a mess after their cleats began tearing into it. Jack preferred to be clean on his drive home to defer his mother from scolding him for bringing dirt into the house.

He was almost finished from getting the wash out of his hair, but his ears stayed in tune with the conversation.

“Better to be a show-er than a grower, I think. Let the ladies know what they’re getting beforehand.” One of the boys, Zach, grinned lewdly, emphasizing his point when he cupped his own dick. He had a thicker cock and was known to swing it around proudly in the locker room. Most of the guys usually rolled their eyes at his antics.

Ethan disagreed. “An element of surprise might be fun if you’re a grower, right? Let your partner’s eyes light up when they ‘unwrap’ the present.”

“ _It’s my dick in a box_ ~” Two of the other boys sang in chorus, laughing. Jack had hummed along with the tune, thinking along the same lines to the old SNL skit.

“Well I think most guys are growers anyways.” Zach shrugged. “You are all just intimidated.”

Beside Jack was his longtime friend Sam, who hated Zach and his arrogance with a passion. All through the conversation, Sam had been rolling his eyes and shaking his head. It brought the blonde some relief to know that his dark haired friend was also annoyed by the conversation.

When Zach kept running his mouth, Sam felt the need to interject.

“It’s what you _do_ with it that matters anyways. Guys I’ve been with that have big dicks usually don’t know what to do with ‘em.” Sam shrugged, glaring back at Zach and his weasel-eyed face. “Hope you’re doing your research, Zach. Lots of ladies know how to fake it.”

“All of three dudes you’ve been with.” Zach pointed out.

“More than you.” Sam smirked. “Never judge by the size, I say.”

Zach scoffed. “Much you know about that. I’m sure your friend knows _all_ about size. Right, Jack?”

Jack glanced up at the other boys when his name was thrown into the conversation. Zach looked meaningful down between the blonde’s legs, an eyebrow raised. He should’ve expected that this would resort to a dick measuring competition, and Jack unfortunately knew that what he was packing was the smallest in the room.

It was partly why he _hadn’t_ been as sexually active as he probably could have. Not that he ever felt the pressure of sowing his oats before getting the hell out of Bloomington, but he knew teenagers talked and he didn’t want the word to get out about his little insecurity.

He knew he had a small dick.

Nay, he knew it was _tiny_. Greg had a small dick, and it was bigger than Jack’s.

When Jack first entered high school, he figured he would eventually grow with his body and that everything would become _proportional_.

He had his dad’s broad shouldered build and his mom’s side of the family’s height. He was strong from days working on a farm, with a respectable ab display that he knew was the envy of some of the guys.

Puberty was seemingly good to him, except for when it came to his dick.

He glanced down between his legs where his soft prick was laying atop his testicles, looking no bigger than half his thumb, including the head.

“You’re a grower, right?” Zach emphasized. “Your dick looks pretty small, or does it always look like that?”

“Fuck off, man.” Jack grumbled, playing off his embarrassment while he finished washing the mud from his hair. “I’m not gonna give you a private audience, if that’s what you’re aiming for.”

The other guys all laughed, but Zach didn’t seem quite convinced. He was an asshole, and most of the time he seemed to get off by belittling others. Jack was arrogant and cocky enough to brush off Zach’s interest. With the trademark Morrison temper, no one made attempts to piss off the blonde, unless they wanted to get their ass kicked.

Zach seemed to be interested.

“Seriously, how big is it when you’re hard?” Zach pushed. “Because it must be a miracle for that thing to be a decent length.”

Jack shrugged. “You want to suck my dick and find out for yourself? Stop ogling other guy’s dicks, unless you truly mean something by it.”

The other guys laughed harder and the comment seemed to brush the bully off. Zach muttered a ‘whatever, bastard’ under his breath while he finished up his shower, no longer wanting to cajole Jack. The blonde was quick with his words and the mention of dick sucking effectively made Zach shy away.

“You should’ve punched his lights out.” Sam muttered beside him while they both walked towards their lockers and grabbed their towels.

“Another time.” The blonde promised. “I don’t want to get benched from the next meet, and he’s not worth it anyway.”

“I dunno, I think he definitely deserves it. He always makes jabs at you.” The younger man shook his head, pulling the moisture from his tight curls. Sam had been dealt his fair share of bullying early on in high school for coming out early on and for doing things outside of what his conservative family initially wanted for him. Sam had no fear, and Jack wished he could be more like him. “He’s playing with fire. One of these days, you’re going to have a right to snap.”

“Let’s hope not. I can’t have anything bad on my record for college.”

“I get that.” Sam wiggled his arms into his shirt. “You’re awesome, by the way. Don’t let any hillbilly make you think otherwise.”

The remark brought a smile to Jack’s face.

They continued to chat while they finished dressing, most of the conversation directed by Sam while he shared what he and Jordan were planning for the weekend. The pair had been together for almost a year, and always got into their own fair share of mischief when together. Jack enjoyed hearing all the adventures they went on, and wished he could be more a part of it.

With a lot on his plate, his free time was limited.

Jack tried to tune into Sam’s description of the latest house party he and his boyfriend crashed, but the earlier dick comments directed at him still made his skin itch with frustration.

He had been ready to give off a random number- usually a well-rounded 6 inches- whenever the guys asked him how big his dick got. However, Jack knew it was a lie.

He was 1.5 inches hard, and that was being generous.

The blonde knew he was different the moment he started seeing health diagrams in junior high that showed him all of the changes that his body would start going through in the next few years. He definitely got taller, stronger. His voice changed and he had to shave everyday by the end of 8th grade.

By freshman sex ed class, he realized that what he had between his legs didn’t match the images he was seeing. Viewing porn only drove that point further as Jack realized there must’ve been something ‘wrong’ with him since his dick was barely long enough to properly masturbate. Most of the time, he rubbed off on his sheets or used the palm of his hand to get some sensation to help him orgasm. The orgasms were still good, but he knew it wasn’t the ‘conventional’ way to get off.

The videos he watched of men masturbating on gay porn sites were different than what he was capable of. It unnerved him, knowing the use of his hand couldn’t bring him properly to completion.

At his yearly physical exam, he had quietly asked the doctor if there was something wrong with his body. At the time, the doctor told him he was still too young and that Jack had a few more years to mature properly and ‘grow’. It was shrugged off and after a thorough exam, he was given a nod that everything checked out as normal and healthy.

Now he was 18, a senior in high school with a well-toned body, and his dick _still_ hadn’t caught up with the rest of his proportions.

Jack knew that dick size wasn’t everything, but as a horny teenager who couldn’t get off _properly_ in the same way others did, it was a point of frustration in his life. He knew he was small, and although he had a chip on his shoulder, he had this unending insecurity.

After dressing and slinging his duffle bag over his shoulder, he refocused his attention again.

Sam’s brows knit in concern when he noticed some of the irritation on Jack’s features. “You okay?”

Jack nodded, pulling the bag’s strap more comfortably to him. “Sorry, just stuck in my head about stuff. “

“You still pissed at Zach?”

Jack nodded in confirmation. Sam sighed, understanding all too well what it felt like to get picked out or brought into an unwelcome conversation.

“You’d think a guy with slight homophobic tendencies would avoid topics of dick comparing, but here we are. Good ol’ Bloomington.”

That made Jack chuckle. “Guy is a pig.”

“Smells like one, too.” Sam agreed, following Jack out to his old hand-me-down Ford. His older brother Andrew had passed it along to him before leaving for college two years before. The red was slowly chipping off in some places, a hallmark of an old farm truck put to good use.

Jack pulled a flake off of the exterior and watched it fall to the ground.

Sam cleared his voice. “So look, there’s this party on Saturday that my boyfriend and I are going to, and you should come. If you can sneak out, we can pick you up at 10.”

The blonde brightened at the prospect. “As long as you or Jordan are driving?”

“Jordan is going to drive us. Could you help pitch in for some drinks? He’s going to bring his fake ID and score us some 40’s.”

“I can do that.” The idea of getting out of his house for a few hours was just what he needed. Jack usually didn’t drink, but the prospect of it sounded ideal in the moment.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then!” Sam waved goodbye while he got into his own car, parked next to the old farm pickup.  

*

Jack was going through the motions of getting back home on the outskirts of town. His body felt better after having washed up after practice, but he couldn’t wipe the frustration that came along whenever he put too much thought on Zach’s comments and how much he wanted to get out of town.

His mind drifted with the quiet rumble of the ancient engine.

He knew in a roundabout way that there was nothing _wrong_ with his body.

He was the pinnacle of health.

The teen was strong, able-bodied, and knew he was fortunate to be able to handle the rough farm work he endured.

However, it didn’t seem to cover for the fact that between his legs, his dick had severely missed the memo. It bothered him that the time he had lost his virginity Junior year to his friend and Chemistry lab partner class, Mara Gibson, he could barely get it in.

Looking back, he could still remember the look on Mara’s face when he pulled down his underwear and struggled to get the condom on. She was polite and didn’t say anything about his size, but it was written all over her face.

_That’s it?_

Mara was kind, though. They fumbled around for a while on his bed, until it became apparent that the condom was way too baggy for his dick, and that it clearly couldn’t adequately be inserted.

Thankfully, Mara had offered to give him a blowjob after he went down on her and gave her his tongue and thick fingers instead.

Mara, with her lovely smile, dark brown hair, and bright hazel eyes, had kissed him sweetly on the lips afterwards and thanked him.

Jack always felt Mara was about a million miles out of any guy’s league in Bloomington, including his own.

They talked for a while on his bed about their upcoming Chemistry exam, until time began to slip away Jack drove Mara home before curfew and kissed her on the cheek goodnight.

They never slept together again.

In the halls at school, she still treated him as a friend and kept their shared moment private, but Jack felt insecure for a time knowing that she knew _exactly_ what he was packing.

Mara never said anything about Jack’s dick size to anyone else though, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

Jack didn’t regret his first time being with someone who was so patient and easygoing, but he was embarrassed to think of how pathetic his cock looked with all of the extra latex bagging at the base of his dick, or the way he had tried to fumble around to at least rub the head at her opening. At least his fingers and tongue had made up for what his dick couldn’t do.

He had thought about that first time experience often, using it as a catalyst to avoid other similar sexual situations.

 _Why am I so caught up on this? It’s not a big deal._ Jack thought to himself.

Still, Zach’s gritty voice echoed in his head; unwelcome and unkind.

Too frustrated to think further, Jack opened the window and let the cool Indiana air rush through his hair. He breathed deep, centering himself on all of the positives outside of what his brain tried to fixate on.

He turned on the radio, flipping through the channels before settling on a news broadcast.

Instead of worrying about his own problems, he listened to the scandals surrounding Omnica Corporation and the malfunctions of their latest Bastion models. It had been all over the news for weeks now, hanging over the world’s heads while Omniums were decommissioned and the public were left trying to piece together what was truly going on.

It felt like a world away, living in the Midwest with its own problems and tribulations. The worst thing Jack’s family had to worry about was the harvest every year and making ends meet if the crops weren’t good. The closest Omnium to them was in Detroit, Michigan, and even that felt far enough away to feel somewhat removed from the issue.

Despite the distance or how ‘remote’ Bloomington felt, Jack found himself interested in following the news stories. A skill he learned from his parents, who were both news junkies in their own rights.

Listening to the news and the worries over what would happen to all of the Omnics that had been integrated in society brought on a stronger sense of concern over the situation that seemed to snowball into bigger problems.

By the time he got home, some of his agitation over his own body issues had lessened.

There were bigger things going on in the world.

*

*

The issues with Omnica Corporation didn’t get any better.

More scandals, more false leads, more information leaked about the illicit business practices...

People were up in arms for being left in the dark while Omniums across the world continued to shut down. Omnics within society were regarded with caution, no matter if it was a protector unit or a serving unit at the local fast food joints.

The world was changing around them, and amid the world’s struggles, Jack found his own teenage distractions.

Jack knew he was into men by the time he was in junior high. He liked women well enough, but there was something more about men that got him hot under the collar. Jack could still pinpoint the exact moment he realized he really, _really_ liked the idea of making out and touching another guy more than a woman when he was thirteen.

He was in seventh grade, helping his father with harvest when one of the hired help for the summer walked up towards the front porch and pulled a water bottle out from the ice chest his mother always kept available.

Jack watched the sweat and water drip from the older teen’s lips, down his neck, down his sweat soaked white shirt, and felt his knees weaken.

It’s the same sort of reaction Jack got when he began talking to Derrick Beck.

Derrick was a track athlete and musician from one of the neighboring high schools. He had run against Jack a few times at the 400 yard dash and relays, and Jack had always been mesmerized by his strong legs and ass. It sucked to lose from time to time, but to see that ass bouncing in track shorts was a decent trade-off.

He finally was able to approach Derrick at a house party.

The guy was into many of the same hobbies Jack enjoyed; comic books, music, chess, etc. He was pretty laidback and it didn’t take long before the end of the night for Derrick to ask if Jack would be interested in going to a movie with him sometime.

It’s how Jack found himself giving a hand-job in a darkened, practically deserted theatre a few days later while making out and getting his nipples played with through his threadbare shirt.

He didn’t have Derrick return the favor, finding the thrill enough to keep him on a high for the next week.

Sam wasn’t too keen on Jack dating the other track star, but he kept his opinion to himself after Jack told him adamantly how he enjoyed the way Derrick made him feel. Being with another guy was fulfilling in a way he hadn’t imagined before, and Jack very quickly found he enjoyed giving blowjobs and the amount of control it gave him over someone else’s pleasure.

Each time he brought up his time spent with Derrick, Sam made a gagging noise and would remind him that Derrick was the same guy who had bragged about having a fake threesome all through Sophomore year. Sam thought the blonde’s new ‘fuck buddy/boyfriend’ was bad news and sketchy, but Jack would brush off the concerns.

He had a nice distraction from the world.

Over the course of the next few weeks, Jack enjoyed his stolen moments with Derrick. Most of the time, they fooled around in a vehicle or at Derrick’s house when his parents were still at work.

Eventually, it didn’t escape Jack’s new boyfriend’s notice that the blonde never removed his pants when they were getting intimate. Derrick pointed it out finally after the sixth time they began to fool around on his bed.

( _Jack felt embarrassed for counting_.)

“You going to take these off?” Derrick asked, pulling at Jack’s belt.

Jack was red with arousal. “Wasn’t planning on it. Is there something you want to do?”

Derrick smirked. “I was hoping I could get my hands on you.”

Jack was hesitant, but the prospect of having hands or a mouth on his cock sounded heavenly. He remembered how much he had enjoyed it when Mara had given him a blowjob; he could only imagine how it would feel for a guy to give him that sort of pleasure.

He wished he could top Derrick, but the suggestion wouldn’t quite leave the tip of his tongue.

“Fine.” The blonde eventually conceded, allowing the light-haired brunette to push him back on the bed and kiss along his abs, hands eager while they unlatched his belt to get his pants off. Jack groaned, enjoying the skin on skin contact. His dick was hard and aching, but perfectly contained within his boxers and jeans. He had been ready to just rub one out against the mattress, but having Derrick touch him was all the more exciting.

He would’ve stayed on that high, body electrified by the feel of a hand on his groin, but the hand stopped and moved away. All too quickly, those same hands unzipped his pants and pulled them and his boxers down his thighs to reveal his erection.

The nervous butterflies began to pool in Jack’s stomach when the silence went on. He angled his head down to get a better look at his partner, hoping to see some sort of acceptance there.

Jack did have a gorgeous body, and he was hoping Derick would appreciate it as much as he’d appreciated the other athlete’s.  

Derrick had his own cock hanging free from his briefs, one hand running over the tip while he eyed Jack’s length.

“Is your dick…okay?” Derrick questioned, not quite connecting what he was seeing to the blonde Adonis that was Jack Morrison.

Jack reddened. “My dick is fine.” He defended quickly while he sat up on the mattress with a slight creak. “Is there a problem?”

Derrick smirked, shaking his head. “None at all. Can I fuck you?”

Jack had thought about this particular topic many times. He loved imagining getting fingered and fucked, but he was more inclined to want to top. He wanted to run his hands over someone’s skin while worshipping their body and feeling tight heat against him..

He had purchased a more appropriately sized condom for the event, and had been stuffing it in his back pocket before each meetup with his partner.

“I was thinking maybe I could-“ Jack waved his hand between them. “Maybe I could top this round? You said you’ve bottomed before and I’m not sure I’m ready to bottom yet.”

Derrick looked down at Jack’s cock and shrugged. “If you think it’ll work.”

The comment made Jack burn up with frustration, but he chose to ignore it, just like he chose to ignore many things when he was trying to pursue what he wanted. He just wanted to desperately get laid, and his teenage hormones were driving him towards Derrick for another kiss. They both shed the rest of their clothes, enjoying the feel of each other’s skin while Derrick rolled onto his stomach invitingly.

“Got any lube?” Jack asked, his fingers slightly shaking with anticipation.

 The other man handed it to him from underneath his pillow. It wasn’t the best place to keep it, but Jack could care less. A thrill ran down his spine while he slowly fingered Derrick open, thoroughly enjoying the sounds of his partner’s moans while massaged his prostate evenly. He had watched a few videos on this, as well as fingered the other man once before until he came.

This felt familiar; natural.

Jack was beginning to enjoy himself, smiling while he felt his partner clench beneath him and groan in need.

“Don’t need much prep.” Derrick egged him on.

“You sure? I don’t want it to hurt.”

“Trust me.” Derrick glanced back. “It won’t hurt.”

He said it with enough snark that the blonde felt he was taking a jab at him. Hormones on high, the blonde didn’t want to argue and miss the chance to top because his friend was being slightly unreasonable.

“If you say so.” Jack fumbled to get the condom on. This time, he had picked a better fit that his doctor had suggested for him. It was still pretty baggy, but much more manageable.

Nerves skated along his stomach while he lined up, rubbing his dick against the hot skin of Derrick’s ass. Jack enjoyed the feel and anticipation of the moment, arousal thick in his veins.

“C’mon, let’s go.” Another urging and Jack didn’t need to be told twice.

He sucked in his stomach, holding a breath while he pushed the tip of his hard cock against Derrick’s opening. He cursed in frustration while he tried to spread his partner’s cheeks wider apart in order to effectively fit his dick in.

He tried over and over, slipping and cursing until finally he was able to push as much as his cock inside as he could. Derrick had his legs spread out wide underneath him, ass up high at an odd angle in order for Jack to reach his target.

“You okay?” Jack wanted to be sensitive to his partner’s needs, sweat beading down his face while he tried to keep himself inside. He kept popping out, unless he held Derrick tightly against him for the length to fit inside.

“I’m good, keep going.”

The blonde tried to establish some sort of rhythm, but he was having enough trouble penetrating his partner. The latex and lube made everything stickier while he struggled to gain some friction or balance.

When he could get himself inside, he couldn’t do much thrusting. He grinded instead, trying to find a good medium that could bring them both pleasure.

When Derrick began to let out breaths of frustration, it caused his rhythm to falter.

The shame still swooped low in his belly; he couldn’t top.

Derrick was oddly quiet through the whole ordeal while one of his hands stroked his own cock to keep it hard. A few times he glanced back at Jack, who was still trying in vain to make it work.

He didn’t want to admit to himself or out in the open that it wasn’t working for them.

An odd silence stretched between them until they made eye contact.

“Do you want to keep going?” Jack cleared his throat. It didn’t seem like his partner was enjoying himself.

“You can finish if you’re close.” Derrick offered.

It sounded like the guy was offering him to finish a milkshake or take the last bite of ice cream. There was nothing sexy or intimate about it.

It felt forced and fake, and the idea that Derrick was merely putting up with Jack trying to top made him all the more ashamed and discouraged.  

“It’s not doing much for me.” Jack confessed, running the back of his hand against his forehead. He much preferred getting head than trying to make things work. Still, he had officially fucked his ‘boyfriend’ (they hadn’t exactly put terms to what they were yet), and that part was enough.

They ahd tried it, but Jack knew he would need to change up the strategy,

“Maybe I could finger you?” Derrick suggested.

The idea sounded good enough. Jack took off the condom and threw it away while Derrick pulled the lube back out. “You know, now that you’ve seen how easy it is to bottom, maybe you’d like to try it?”

Of course Jack wanted to try it.

He had fingered himself a few times before while in the shower and had enjoyed exploring that part of his body.

However, Derrick’s dick was a generous 7 inches, and the idea of fitting the whole thing inside him was a little daunting. The guy wasn’t super thick, and Jack reasoned with himself that it might not be as painful if he had more time to properly prepare.

“I know you said you weren’t ready, but I think you’ll like it.” Derrick tried to persuade him.

Jack declined, “Next time, I’m down. Tonight, I think I’d like your fingers and your mouth.”

“Fair enough. So long as I can play with your tits.”

Jack reddened, nodding.

Despite the awkward start, they somehow made things work.

*

*

*

The next time they were to meet up, Jack was sure he had spent extra time in the shower to officially prepare himself for his first time bottoming. He had read enough articles and wiki-how’s on what to do before taking the big dive to losing his ‘second virginity’, so to speak.

They had planned it for the following weekend, when Derrick’s house would be quiet and they could have an evening to themselves for three hours.

_Plenty of time to get to business._

Jack told his parents that he was meeting up with friends for a movie at Derrick’s house, making the whole situation seem more innocent than it actually was. John still gave him a knowing look, having had ‘the talk’ with him a few times throughout high school to make sure his son was playing safe.

“You sure you got everything?” He raised a brow.

Jack nodded quickly, “Yep, all good to go!” He grabbed the keys from the hanger and left out the back door, feeling his father’s eyes on the back of his head. It felt somehow even more shameful, knowing his ass was still wet and prepped to get fucked.

Sure enough, the old man was still standing at the kitchen window with his Canada Dry in his hands, observing Jack’s movements carefully.

The blonde could only guess if his dad was debating on whether or not he should have ‘a talk’ with him again before he snuck away to his partner’s house. Given that there was light snow outside, he probably didn’t want to get his slippers dirtied.

Jack was in the truck, getting the engine started when his phone began to ring incessantly at him. He fished it from his jacket, answering it without looking.

“Hello?”

 “Are you going to Derrick’s place?” Sam questioned, sounding displeased on the other line.

“Yeah.” Jack replied, feeling a little whiplashed from the serious tone of the other’s voice. “Is something wrong?”

“You shouldn’t.”

The offhand remark made the blonde pause with worry. “And why is that?”

“My boyfriend overheard Derrick talking shit about you. He told the whole track team about you guys-“ he cleared his throat, uncomfortable, “About your hook up.”

Jack felt his blood run cold.

“What’d he say?” Jack asked.

Sam sounded even more uncomfortable. “It’s fucked up, man.”

“Tell me.” Jack urged.

“It’s awful. I can drive over there and kick his ass for you. You shouldn’t have to hear what he said, because it’s not okay-“

“Sam.” Jack took a deep breath, trying to level his anger. “Please, just tell me.”

The other man gave in. “Fuck…look, he was talking shit about you topping and was saying some fucked up things about your dick. My boyfriend told him to shut it, but Derrick kept sharing about you having a small dick and being unable to ‘get it in.’ Look, I know I can’t stop you from doing whatever it is you do with Derrick, but any person who spreads those kind of rumors is trash. He’s using you, Jack.”

Jack felt his heartbeat hot and angry in his ears.

“Did he say anything else?”

Sam groaned, hating the conversation. “He was making fun of your dick. I know we joke about that stuff, but he was getting off on making fun of you. The whole track team knows, and there’s no doubt they’ll spread it.”

Jack took a deep breath. “Thanks for telling me, Sam.”

“I wish you didn’t have to hear it from me, but the guy has been playing you.”

“I’m glad it was from you. Now I can go handle the situation.”

“Let me state in advance that I’m not an accomplice to murder.” Sam pointed out. “But I give you my blessing to kick his ass. If you need help, I’m at home with Jordan right now and we can gladly meet you there.”

“Way ahead of you.” Jack ground out, furious. “I’ll see you later.”

With one sole mission in sight, Jack revved the engine and pulled out onto the main road, anger and humiliation swirling thick and heavy in his gut.

The blonde didn’t even turn on the radio or make an attempt to slow down until he reached his destination.

He drove clear across town to Derrick’s house, walking through the front door and up the stairs to where the other teen was lounging on his bed, playing video games.

“Woah, I thought you were gonna text when you parked?” Derrick said by way of greeting.

“Mind telling me why you’re spreading shit about me to your friends?”

Derrick sat up, noting how pissed Jack was. Fear was evident in his eyes.

“It was just locker room talk. C’mon, you know how hot you are.” Derrick tried to placate. “It was nothing.”

Furious, Jack grabbed Derrick’s controller and threw it against the wall hard enough to shatter it

“What the fuck!?”

“Next time you try and spread shit about me, that controller will be your face!” Jack yelled. He turned towards Derrick’s TV and toppled it to the ground, no doubt cracking the screen.

Derrick was speechless while Jack kicked his door and left, stomping down each stair and slamming the door nearly off its hinges when he left.

 _Good riddance._ Jack thought bitterly, hot tears welling in his eyes.

He hated how angry he was.

How humiliated he felt to have trusted someone that would so easily make a joke of him.

From Derrick’s house, he drove up and down the country roads, blasting classic rock music until it drowned out the sound of his angry thoughts.

A few more months, and he’d be graduating from high school.

A few more months, and he would get the hell out of Bloomington.

*

*

*

Jack forgot about Derrick and their break-up when the first Omnics attacked in the states, leveling a whole city in Southern Florida and leaving the country in shock and panic.

They watched the news all day at school, their faces stoic and haunted while their teachers tried to offer any words of comfort or support.

There wasn’t much to be said.

In one swift moment, the world had changed and everything felt like the beginning of the end.

In a way, it was a turning point in Jack’s life.

He remembered driving home in a daze to find his mom and dad staring at the TV. John had his arm around his wife, holding her close to him while they tried to comfort one another.

Jack’s mother looked to him with tear glazed eyes and pulled him into a hug, kissing the side of his head.

“We’re at war.”

*

*

*

Andrew came home for Christmas break with a neatly cropped haircut and a hardened look in his eyes. Things had changed, and now that the world was in need of help, people everywhere were stepping forward to do their part.

It felt like life or death.

Jack wondered when he had grown up to this.

He wondered when his usually carefree brother had changed to the man sitting across their kitchen table, at a loss for words or small conversation. His blue eyes hardened and form jaw set in a frown.

Andrew would be shipping out for basic in five days. He had decided to put his degree in aeronautical engineering on hold, and enlist in the Air Force. Jack was proud, but it also made him sick to his stomach to think that his only sibling, his closest friend, was up against something more powerful than humanity could handle.

The Omnics had killed civilians as if they were ragdolls.

Jack’s mother cried all through Christmas, several times leaving the table with Jack’s two aunts pushing up to comfort her in the sitting room.

Jack’s dad was proud of Andrew, albeit grim with the knowledge that now with the war, Andrew could be shipped out sooner after his fast track through basic.

Andrew acted as if nothing was wrong.

It drove Jack crazy, but he could understand.

He and Jack drove around Bloomington in the cold winter evening, sipping on Coca-Cola and eating White Castle burgers while the old rock station drifted through the cab. It was a way to get out of the house and away from their mother’s anxieties over the war.

“They’re not going to give you burgers at basic.”

Andrew smirked, cheek full with nearly half a burger. “More for you, then.”

Jack let out a long breath. “Are you afraid?”

“Of what?”

The younger blonde leveled his brother a look.

Andrew knew what Jack was referencing to and shrugged. “A little, but I figure it’s the right thing to do. I’ll get out of Indiana and do something more with my life.”

“Mom’s mad at you.”

“She’s always mad when I leave.” Andrew pointed out. “How’s your boyfriend, by the way? You haven’t brought him up.”

The younger man shifted in his seat, frown deepening. “He turned out to be an asshole.”

“Do I need to kick his ass?”

“Maybe.”

Andrew paused, taking a long glance at the way Jack had crossed his arms and leaned against the side of the truck, face firm and disappointed. Swallowing thickly, Andrew kept on the topic. “Did he hurt you?”

“No.”

Andrew didn’t look convinced.

“Not _physically_ , okay?”

“I feel like there is a helluva lot more to this breakup than you’re sharing.”

Jack picked at a loose thread on his shirt. “Do you have….” He took a deep breath, slightly uncomfortable with the conversation. “Don’t make fun of me, promise?”

Andrew pretended to cross his heart.

“Derrick broke up with me because I couldn’t…I couldn’t get it in. Y’know?” The younger Morrison waved his hands in front of him, unsure what the proper gesture would be.

Andrew’s brows shot up.

Jack tried to shed more light without being too graphic, but he felt his brother was already slightly tmi-ed out. “Derrick wanted certain things in the bedroom and it- it wasn’t going to happen.”

“Weird, kinky shit?”

Jack felt he didn’t need to elaborate further. “Something like that, but he started spreading rumors about me to his friends. Sam’s boyfriend overheard it all and they gave me a heads up.”

Andrew whistled low while he breathed out. “Then he’s an ass. Anyone you decide to share your body with should treat you right and respect any boundaries you have. Don’t let one bad relationship ruin it for you, because I promise there are good people out there.”

It was a comforting thought, but Jack wasn’t sure if he was wholly convinced that someone would love his ‘flaw’ and accept him for what it was. 

For who he was.

Shame pooled low in his stomach, unwelcome and painful.

“Did you punch the guy in the face?” Andrew asked.

“No, but I broke his controller and TV.” Jack answered.

Andrew grinned widely. “Nice. That’s my little brother.” He reached across and jabbed at Jack’s shoulder playfully.

Jack smiled, too.

There were a few moments of silence between them and the light snow falling over the truck. In Bloomington, they felt far away from the world’s problems. The issues in Russia, Guatemala, and Florida seemed like fiction in their minds. Here, all was quiet.

Life kept going, oblivious to the dangers ahead.

Andrew would be walking into the fire and gun smoke to face against an enemy more capable than they were.

Jack cleared his voice. “I know you keep changing the topic, but you should know that we’ll all miss you when you leave. We’re worried about you.”

The older sibling bit at his lip in nervousness. “I’ve been gone, though. College, remember?”

“College isn’t the same as basic training.”

“I know.” Andrew grumbled. “I’ll be fine.”

Jack looked to him. “Will you?”

The eldest’s eyes softened when he noticed the concern in his sibling’s face. “You worry a lot. You got that from mom, you know.”

“My brother is going into a war, up against an enemy that isn’t human and can kill a crowd of people in seconds without any sort of remorse or empathy. Yeah, _of course_ I’m worried!” Jack explained heatedly, “Why can’t you just wait until you graduate college? You’re almost done. It’s stupid to walk away from it all now.”

“Our county- no, our society needs it. We need people who are willing to help, and I’m able to do it. It’s an honor.”

“So you’re playing the hero card?” Jack spat. “You’re not Superman or Iron Man. You’re a big meathead, is what you are. The same one who used to duct tape my action figures to the ceiling and put fake spiders in the cereal box.”

“Those were good times.” Andrew snorted, amused.

Jack crossed his arms. “I don’t want you to die for nothing.”

“I wouldn’t be dying for nothing. Yeah, there’s a possibility I could kick the bucket, but at least I’m doing something more than sitting on my ass studying. I can actually go out and help people.”

“You’re a dumbass.”

“And you’re stubborn.” Andrew shrugged. “You’ll understand, someday. “

“You’re _20_. You’re not old _or_ wise. Fuck you.”

Andrew chuckled. “I love you too, little brother.”

Jack ran the back of his hand against the moisture at his eyes.

After a beat of silence, Jack asked, “You’ll text me when you can?”

“If I can, I promise I will.” Andrew agreed. “So long as you promise to keep your nose clean. No more dating d-bags , ya hear?”

“I’ll try.” Jack stated. “No promises, though.”

Pleased with as much as a ‘promise’ as he’d get, Andrew turned up the music station.

He would be shipping out in 2 days.

*

*

*

A few weeks had gone by and the world felt grey and foreboding.

All over the news were stories of new attacks that lead to more destruction and death. High rates of causalities and towns leveled to earth by rogue omnics while Omnica Corporation worked to shut them down.

Somewhere out there, Andrew would be in the fray of it and Jack’s mother would be pacing and worrying more than she already was.

It was hard to feel like a ‘normal’ teenager when the teachers always had a newscast on some device in their rooms, and every morning after pledge was met with a moment of silence to reflect on the state of the world.

Jack had his studies, friends, and outside activities to keep his mind pre-occupied.

It grounded him in getting through, day by day.

Andrew had written him a few times, but what he did write was more about daily life and not the struggles they were facing in relation to the war.

Jack missed his brother fiercely; even more so now that he knew Andrew wasn’t a two hour drive away.

His head was so full that he almost missed the sneering voice in the showers across from him. He was getting dressed when he heard Zach’s voice pick up amid the sound of water and other rustling teens.

“Morrison’s got a micro-dick. Derrick Beck was telling me the guy couldn’t even get it in when they fucked. He said it felt like a fish humping his back.”

Jack felt the anger and shame boil high up into his neck. His heart raced the more Zach ran his mouth a few feet away, unknowing that Morrison was just around the corner by the lockers.

“I knew the guy wasn’t a show-er or a grower. Hot temper like that, it’s no wonder none of the blood can get to his dick.”

A few of the boys were laughing in the showers when Jack made his presence known. He was wearing a white tank and jeans, seeing red when he spotted Zach’s smarmy face. With everything going on in the world and with his family, his patience had long since flown out the window.

“You want to keep talkin shit?” Jack growled out, fists clenched and ready.

Zach tried to keep an arrogant face, even though he was the one naked and wet under the shower’s spray. “None of what I’m saying is false.” Zach stepped forward cockily and shoved at Jack, hard enough for it to be a challenge. The guy had grown a few inches over winter break and was about the same height as Jack now.

It still wasn’t a good enough reason to pick a fight with a Morrison.

“Shut your mouth.”

“Fuck you, Morrison. You think you’re so fucking great, but all you are is a small dicked, no good-“

Jack barreled forward, punching Zach square in the face.

He felt a thick crunch under his knuckles, no doubt breaking the kid’s nose.

A few of the other boys ran out of the shower area to call for help, while a few others tried to pull Jack away.

The Morrison teen loomed over Zach, challenging him to say more.

“Compensating for much?”

Jack punched him again, this time harder.

“Stay down, asshole!” Jack yelled, angrily kicking at the other boy. “You should learn to keep your mouth shut.”

At this point, the coach came rushing into the room with a security guard, pulling Jack back while the other adult checked over Zach and hid bloodied face.

The blonde knew he would be suspended, but it all felt so worth it.

He walked out of the locker rooms with the security guard, a pleased smile on his face and Zach’s blood on his knuckles.

*

*

By the time he got home, his dad was waiting for him out on the porch, arms crossed and displeased.

“You broke that boy’s nose.”

Jack’s lips thinned into a frustrated frown. “He’s been picking on me since Freshman year. He was talking shit and wouldn’t shut up.”

“Is that the truth?”

Jack nodded.

His father sighed, understanding Jack’s temper better than anyone. “You’re lucky some of the other boys vouched for you. They said the kid started the fight and egged you on.”

“He did.”

“Well, he’s an idiot.”

“He is.”

Jack’s father was trying to hide a smirk from his face. “You shouldn’t solve your problems with fights, and you’ve been suspended for a week, but…I’m glad you gave that kid what he deserved. If it’s the same one I’m thinkin of, it was long overdue.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“Mm. Your mother is going to tear into you once you step foot in that house and you know I’m obligated to follow her wishes. Best take a deep breath, junior.”

Jack nodded, knowing full well his mother would have a more reasonable punishment lined up for him. He took a deep breath, opening he front door to be immediately bombarded by his mother’s raised voice.

“ _JOHN MORRISON_ , get your butt into this kitchen!”

His father winced, "Good luck."

Jack made his death march into the other room to sit at the kitchen table and allow his mother to lecture him.

*

Jack was grounded from seeing friends, grounded from technology, and sentenced to farm duty with his father for the duration of his suspension. Jack took the punishment willingly, finding it all worth it for having beaten up Zach enough to break his nose.

It was satisfying.

The only reason Zach’s parents couldn’t sue was because Zach ahd started the fight and pushed Jack over the edge.

Jack chopped wood in the backyard while his mother looked on, her arms crossed and lips pressed tight. It was still cool in the evenings, and the snow was beginning to let up.

John draped a blanket over her shoulders.

“Andrew ships out tomorrow for California.” Sarah whispered with watery eyes. She had been struggling with her emotions for most of the day, not wanting to believe that her eldest would be in the midst of all the chaos.  

“He’ll be okay.”

“He’s too young.”

John nodded. “He’s got a good head on his shoulders. Just like this one. They both have awful tempers, but they’re good boys. Andrew will be careful.”

“He can be as careful as much as he likes, but we’re no match for _machines_ , John. Flesh versus metal.” Sarah inhaled shakily. “You saw what happened to all of those people in Dubai.”

John knew his wife was right, that no words would comfort her worries or ease her mind from what she ahd seen, but he would still stand beside her in her grief.

He kissed the top of her sandy-blonde head.

“All we can do is pray, Sarah. To whoever might be listening, we’ll pray we get through this.”

*

*

Jack was itching to get out of high school.

After he had broken Zach’s nose, most of his peers steered clear away from spreading gossip about him. Once in a while, he would sense the eyes on his back or hear the whispers between two students while they walked behind him, but nothing ever said out loud.

All Jack had to do was turn to glare at them.

That was typically enough for someone to stop whispering or avert their gaze all-together.

Jack hated the insecurity.

All he wished for was his ticket out of Bloomington. He had applied for different colleges, but all those dreams seemed like a far-off luxury when compared to what was happening in the world.

He wanted to do more with his life.

Jack thought about Andrew’s words often; about answering a higher calling to help people. He talked about it often with Sam, who had made his own plans to join the Navy when school was over.

The blonde was strong, able, and healthy, but felt completely useless against the backdrop of war.

He wanted to change that.

Late at night when Jack laid in bed, staring at his ceiling, he felt his heart being pulled in another direction.

Every time he walked by the news, he felt his purpose thrumming through his veins.

He wouldn’t be a hero, but he could aspire to be like one.

Two weeks before the end of school, he went to the local recruiter’s office and signed up to join the army. He wouldn’t ship out for a few weeks, but the promise to do something more with his life felt like his best ticket to freedom.

*

*

*

Three days after graduating from high school, Jack packed a few meager belongings and left Bloomington, Indiana.

His mother kissed him on both cheeks, hugging him close with tears streaming down her face. John had to keep clearing his throat, the emotion just as high and heavy while he pulled his youngest child into a hug and told him to keep his ass out of trouble.

Jack smiled and nodded his head, his own blue eyes misty with emotion. “No promises.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Shout out to my R76 friends for encouraging me to write my kinks unapologetically and for bouncing ideas with me. I’ve had this stewing in my brain for a long time and now feel confident enough to write it out. This one’s for you! <3  
> In the next chapter we’ll see SEP, Gabe, and more of Jack’s struggles. I wanted to shed some background on Jack's previous experiences in this chapter, but the main focus will be Jack and Gabe's relationship. 
> 
> Come say hello~  
> [Tumblr](http://valkyriegail76.tumblr.com/)  
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> 


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